"a public criminal complaint"
This site as a TUTORIAL, WARNING, and PUBLIC CRY FOR HELP            ADDITIONAL STUFF - for in case "thems" ARREST me - and a THIRD JURY TRIAL
Udo Birnbaum  (903) 479-3929   BRNBM@AOL.COM    a little bit about me    from my coming book    www.OpenJustice.US  (my orig site) 
     Judge John McCraw threatens to put me in JAIL (AUDIO)   DA Investigator threatens to personally put the HANDCUFFS on me (AUDIO)    
     Judge Paul Banner "revival" of his own $62,885 ORDER - batshit crazy hearing (YouTube)  -  HINT: Orders do NOT go "dormant" - something really stinks   

"batshit crazy" - where the phrase comes from - interesting

Having tried ALL ELSE to put a STOP to this OUTRAGE upon me, I decided to literally CRY FOR HELP - in our 294th Courtroom - me holding TWO of these posters over my head, loudly crying "HELP" - and they neither ARRESTED me, nor DID ANYTHING about my complaint - but they have been publicly put on notice - AUDIO      Synopsis of Evil - the Emperor has no clothes
Damn Courthouse Criminals
For pure fun, go search Google for "damn courthouse criminals", "plea to the jurisdiction and sanity", "judge poopi", "assignment to pass out pumpkins", "judge abcde" - try with and without quotes, maybe with "Van Zandt" thrown in. Even Google can understand!
"the dogs that caught the car"

I need to get them to ARREST me - to fully set the hook - to show them for the CRIMINALS they really ARE. Make "them" explain, to a JURY, why they arrested me, AT OUR COURTHOUSE, for complaining about crimes IN OUR COURTHOUSE, and BY OUR COURTHOUSE. They have been briefed - "with a fire hose" - but refuse to do anything about it.   That is Why I need to get them to arrest me
Hey, FBI - this "stuff" is SERIOUS
A fraudulent BEAVER DAM SUIT against me to start - morphing into retaliation  by the Court itself -
for me having made a civil RICO counter-claim - a FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHT

Van Zandt Courthouse Beaver Dam Scheme - YouTube
- short swift intro          Rat Snake Unwinding - another my YouTube

non-refundable prepaid attorney retainer agreement     fraudulent suit thereon claiming existence of an unpaid "open account" for legal fees" - "The Westfall Suit"
fraudulent instructions and questions to the jury by Judge Paul Banner   (Judge Banner had a jury sitting there - but didn't ask them - if an "open account" even existed!)

Judge Paul Banner had refused to Appoint an Auditor per Rule 172      My Petition for Writ of Mandamus to have Judge Banner Appoint an Auditor (to Tyler 12th COA)

(If Judge Paul Banner had duly appointed an AUDITOR, as he was required to per RCP Rule 172, because of the TWO diametrically opposing affidavits as to the
 "state of the [supposed] account",  it would of course have cut right throught the Westfall fraud - and of course precluded the whole Judge Paul Banner fraud!)

Deposition of Westfall - shows there was no such "open account" to bring suit on (VIDEO)   Deposition of Westfall - he spills out "we just keep time cards" (VIDEO)
Transcript -  "no such open account" through "we just keep time cards"          Transcript - ALL        Transcript - EXHIBITS

"WELL-INTENTIONED" - as caught by the court reporter      $62,885 FINE - suddenly ALL POISON       $125,770 FINE - ravings of a MADMAN  (2x62,885)
Judge Paul Banner ex-parte hanky-panky - how it went from "well-intentioned" - to "all poison"
Motion for Recusal of Judge Paul Banner        Assignment of Judge Ron Chapman       Letter to Judge Ron Chapman - that there be "no surprises"
    The $125,770 "surprise"      "Happy April Fools Day" - swift summary

Judge Paul Banner insane hearing to "revive" his own unlawful $62,885 SANCTION ORDER
  - a real DOOZY - YouTube
Application to Revive    Answer to Application     Oral Pleading in Writing    Assignment Judge Banner   Assignnment to pass out PUMPKINS    Order Reviving Order


Petition for Declaratory Relief - to the Tyler Federal Court - to declare the whole 294th District Court proceedings as patently unlawful
136 pages of court "stuff"
- lots of paper in the Tyler Federal Court

Texas courts were not established for the purpose of cranking crap into $500,000 pieces of paper parading as “judgments”

(This was my "whistle-blower- suit" - a suit "in equity" for "declaratory relief". Details my www.OpenJustice.US)

JUST FOR FUN:  Google on "cranking crap", i.e. as a PHRASE.  Also try "$62,885  $125,770", with and without quotes
Maybe also without the "comma" in the amounts. Maybe with Van Zandt thrown in. Also "judge poopi", "plea to the jurisdiction and sanity",
 "smoke old mold", "the only cigarette that is all filter", "if there is insanity around". And of course "damn courthouse criminals"
Also simply "courthouse criminals" - NO QUOTES - and watch it put the "damn" in FRONT of it!

*  *  *  * 

What Possessed Judge Paul Banner
frame grab courtesy YouTube Tex Avery Cartoon titled  SH-H-H-H-H-H  (click to play, else on picture)
A Psychological Study through Judge Banner's $62,885 Court Fine
Diagnosis: paranoia of INVASION by pro se litigants and "civil RICO" lawsuits
Diagnosis: sociopathy - i.e. no abiding by the law, norms of behavior, nor rights of others

"well-intentioned" - as caught by the court reporter    now suddenly ALL VENOM - as in Judge Paul Banner $62,885 "Findings" - a pure CYA

What is a pro se litigant     What is civil RICO no 1      What is civil RICO no 2     What is civil RICO no 3    jury instructions for civil RICO
              Appeal to Dallas Appeals Court      Appeal to Texas Supreme Court      Appeal to US Supreme Court
      Petition for Declaratory Relief

*  *  *  * 

(click here - or on picture. Real lively after a few minutes. YouTube may start with an Ad)

Judge Paul Banner insane hearing to "revive" his own unlawful $62,885 SANCTION ORDER
(HINT: Orders do not go "dormant")
 Background:  "Application for Writ of Scire Facias to Revive"
   Answer to Application to Revive
   Oral Pleading in Writing
 Assignmennt of Judge Banner - Judge Murphy cannot assign a "visiting magistrate"   
Assignnment to pass out PUMPKINS - my spoof assignment to make this point
"Order Reviving Order" - the "judgment" they revived - was clearly titled ORDER
  (This "judgment" - was of course never a judgment,
 i.e. does not "adjudicate" anything - but PUNISHES)
Also note the careful transmogrification from "Order" - to "Sanction Judgment"
Petition to Set Aside Order Reviving
- revival of one of the OTHER TWO "judgments" in this cause

*  *  *  *

(click here - or on picture. YouTube may start with an AD)

*  *  *  * 

What do I need to do - 
to ring this Court's bell?
Detail of the document - click here or on either picture         Notice to the powers that be

*  *  *  *
What do I need to do -
to get the attention of our District Attorney
    "We are well aware of your [Birnbaum] position" - but they won't do anything              That is why I need to get them to arrest me
Complaint 2003 to then DA Leslie Dixon    Complaint 2014 to then DA Chris Martin    Complaint 2015 to then DA Chris Martin    Complaint 2015 re then DA Chris Martin

That is why I need to get "them" to arrest me -
to force the light of day upon this CRAP

Choice 1: Do something about this crap

Choice 2: Have me in the courthouse - and at the DA office - with my rusty wheelbarrow, garbage cans, toilet plunger,
  garden hose, pot lids, etc - all items that cannot be mistaken as posing a physical threat -
till hell freezes over

Choice 3:  Else explain to a JURY - why they arrested me, for finally choosing in this manner to so "serve notice" -

*  *  *  *

Our "thems" - everybody KNOWS - but ... ...   

     That is why I need to get them to arrest me

Van Zandt County Justice Center - aka "our jail"

Why I need to get them to arrest me       inquiry re pre-admittance (AUDIO)

Complaint to Sheriff Dale Corbett         Complaint - yet one more try 

"here I stand - I can do no other" -
Martin Luther 1483-1546

*  *  *  * 

"But for Judge Louie Gohmert hissy fit in Dallas Federal Court"

"But for Judge Louie Gohmert hissy fit before federal Judge Jorge Solis - all this bad JUDGE PAUL BANNER stuff upon me -
would NOT have been"
-  details below  

*  *  *  *

"going up the line"

Texas 294th District Court of Van Zandt County
 $62,885 and $125,770 Court FINES:
"WELL-INTENTIONED" - as caught by the court reporter
    ALL VENOM - as in the $62,885 FINE     ALL VENOM - as in the $125,770 FINE (2 x 62,885) 

suit against me - was for "unpaid open account"    No such account ever existed    FALSE jury instruction and questions - ALL FRAUD

Texas Dallas 5th Court of Appeals:
    Brief for Appellant   Appendix Vol 1     Appendix Vol 2    Motion for Oral Argument    Motion for Judge Banner to make Findings 
  Exactly HOW Judge Banner's Findings are an "ex-parte" FRAUD        Judge Banner's Findings      Opinion of the Court
    Notice of Denial of Appeal     Petition for  rehearing en banc    Notice of Denial of Rehearing     

Texas Supreme Court

Petition for Review
   Notice of Petition DENIED
   Motion for re-hearing En Banc
 Notice of Motion for re-hearing DENIED  

US Supreme Court
 Petition for Writ of Certiorari
- my appeal to the US Supreme Court   Notice of Denied

Other complaints / petitions / etc. about Judge Paul Banner
- incomplete
Criminal complaint   Petition for Writ of Mandamus  Petition for Declaratory Relief
  Criminal complaint   Before Judge John McCraw (court audio) - good law in here
    Before Judge Banner (court audio) - good "how the cow eats the cabbage"
    My physical cry for HELP - before the court (court audio)
judges etc I have been before / complained to

"How the Cow eats the Cabbage"
where the phrase comes from

Notice to "The "Powers that Be" - time to stop this crap       Same - Notice to "The Powers that Be" - as email

Notice of Intent to Confront the Court"       Why I need to get them to arrest me

   Synopsis of Evil - The Emperor has no Clothes   They have been publicly put on Notice - AUDIO

  Criminal Complaint - re Judge Banner - to 2003 DA Dixon    Criminal Complaint - re Judge Banner - to DA Martin

    Criminal Complaint - re DA Martin

*  *  *  *

      Guide to this site
1. Use <CTR>  < +,- >  to adjust text / display size

2. See my www.OpenJustice.US for MUCH, MUCH more. (do a <CTR> + <F> there for the word / name)

3. NOTE: Sometimes I have provided a "hyperlink" to a "bookmark" in this "other" site. Use the browser <BACK> button to get back out of there. Sometimes takes SEVERAL <BACK>

The damn Beaver Dam Suit against me - key documents

this fraudulent "BEAVER DAM" suit upon me, I was peacefully RETIRED on my farm, taking care of my cows and invalid 90 year old mother,
 and had only known the courthouse from getting LICENSE PLATES! 

My neighbor Jones' complaint
- was about BEAVERS

His shyster lawyer sues me
- for ME wrongfully and unlawfully "building and maintaining" a dam in violation of  Section 11.086 of the Texas Water Code. ALL FRAUD.
(he can't sue me over BEAVERS - they are not my beavers - so he simply changes the facts)

Sheriff's Deputy Report
- on day suit served on me

Private Investigator Report
- and related "stuff"

I complain of fraud to Judge Wallace

Harassing deposition by Canton Attorney

Jury trial exhibits -
lots and lots of photos

Trial Transcript
- of the all-week jury trial

Court's Charge
- Judge Zimmermann gives fraudulent instructrions and questions to the jury. Even then, the jury finds ZERO damages (unanimous verdict)

Hearing Entry of Judgment"
- hearing after hearing to assess "legal fees" against me. (legal fees recovery NOT even available for suit under Texas Water Code - and certainly NOT a "winning party)

Fraudulent "judgment of affirmative injunction" -
despite lawyer NOT a "winning party" (ZERO damages)

Petition to set-aside "judgment of affirmative injunction"

Emergency Motion for Relief from TWELVE Giant Van Zandt County Hogs
such hogs interfering with my court-ordered surveilance of Steve's Creek

The damn Beaver Dam Suit against me - short narrative
"if the law does not fit - - just change the facts"

My upstream neighbor, retired military, captain I believe, then bank loan officer, then pet shop owner, goes to war with his BEAVERS.

DYNAMITES a fifteen (15) foot section, of their four (4) foot dam, of their ten (10) acre lake, and flushes the whole MESS down upon and accross my farm.

And afraid the "overgrown rats" would come back, wants to DYNAMITE on my downstream creek.

Permission denied. Problem was in his head. No more BEAVERS. He had solved HIS water problem - all by HIMSELFf - on HIS property - by clearing out HIS beavers.

His shyster lawye
r, seeing two old codgers, and lots of "legal fees" - and knowing natural beavers do not give him a "cause of action" - simply changes the facts.

Sues me for violating Section 11.086 of the Texas Water Code, for me having been and presenty being the cause of my neighbor's flooding - by having "built and maintained" a dam, and wanting the court to ORDER me to remove such dam, and seeking $10,000 in damages.

All fraud. No such dam, No such flooding. I represent myself "pro se", i.e. self-represent, i.e. have no lawyer.

All week jury trial. Unanimous verdict of ZERO damages.

Judge James B. Zimmermann, nevertheless, wants to put $10,000 in attorney fees against me, and an injunction to force me to remove my non-existant dam.

Judge Zimmermann had hearing after hearing after hearing - always telling me he was going to enter judgment against me for $10,000 attorney fees.

And finally, out of desparation, I picked a lawyer - at random - out of the Tylter telephone directory - he told me to file a motion for a "take nothing" judgment, even gave me an example filing - and did not even charge me. He must have felt real sorry for me.

But no luck with Judge Zimmerman. So I hire an Athens attorney, pay him $2500 - and he does a bang-up job before Judge Zimmermann - but again no luck.

The Beheaded Calves - how G. David Westfall became my lawyer
G. David Westfall would be the one to later sue me
(Use  <CTR>  < +,- >  to adjust text / display size / image below)

The Beheaded Calves - how G. David Westfall became my lawyer
G. David Westfall would be the one to later sue me

Living with me at the time was my invalid mother, aged 93. A friend, Michael Collins, whom I had come to know through visiting Judge James B. Zimmermann always hearing both of our cases on the same day, was also living on my farm in a little trailer he had moved in. I had also let a local young man, not living on my farm, bottle feed some dairy calves at my barn.

Early one morning, the fellow banged on my door, to tell me that the heads of some of his calves were cut off, that there were no heads around, and no blood either.

Someone must have contacted the sheriff - and it seems like everybody came out - the newspaper, then constable C.B. Wiley, the speculation being that it was connected to DEVIL WORSHIP - and the whole shebang made the front page of the Athens paper - with a full-color picture of the beheaded calves - and my name and Mike's.

A few days later, I received a call from a Kathy Young, trying to get in contact with Michael Collins, and I relayed the message to him.

Kathy told Mike, that a big-time Dallas lawyer wanted to meet with him - and would drive the 70 or so miles from Dallas - if Mike would drive out to Kathy's place in adjacent Henderson County, about 10 miles south of my farm and Mike's trailer.

And so Mike came to meet that very night with who turned out to be G. DAVID WESTFALL - who would ultimately become Mike's lawyer - and ultimately mine also - and ultimately sue me.
Neither Mike nor I had ever even heard of Westfall or Kathy. Nor did I know - at that time - why Mike, Westfall, and Kathy came to meet in such manner, so suddenly, and on such a cold rainy night.

Westfall, I much later learned, had been convicted of animal cruelty - for starving a whole bunch of his cows. That is why the beheaded calves might have caught his attention.

And I NOW know, just exactly HOW the calf mutilation story got to Westfall:  A local man read the story, and passed it on to his sister, who was a criminal defendant with G. David Westfall as her lawyer.

I NOW know that G. David Westfall's motive was NOT Collins, nor the beheaded calves, nor money at that moment, but he was URGENTLY trying to ingratiate himself with JUDGE JAMES B. ZIMMERMANN - by helping ZIMMERMANN get out from having royally screwed up - with his all week BEAVER trial - with Mr. Birnbaum still making loud noises - - -

- - - and now DEVIL WORSHIP - with a full color front page spread in the Athens Review!

After Westfall ultimately becaume my lawer, he wanted me to DROP Judge Zimmermann as a defendant, Westfall telling me me not only was Zimmermann his friend, but because  "you will actually have a stronger case that way" - - - because Judge Zimmermann is so highly respected.

And in Collins' suit, when Westfall became Collins' lawyer, Westfall also wanted to drop Zimmermann out of Collins' suit, same reason given, and Collins did indeed let Westfall drop Judge Zimmermann.

MY lawyer working for the OTHER side - although I did not recognize it at the time.

The fraudulent Westfall legal fee suit against me - key documents
G. David Westfall was claiming an "unpaid open account"
There was NO SUCH ACCOUNT at all

Westfall retainer agreement
- a mere "memorandum of our understanding" - as the document so states, regarding "expectations" - re my non-refundable $20,000 pre-paid

Westfall fraudulent "unpaid open account" suit - no such "open account" ever existed - there never was a "debtor/creditor" relationship. Was $20,000 non-refundable pre-paid.  Westfall First Amended - now actually sworn.

Deposition of Westfall - Westfall has no accounting at all - VIDEO
- A "must watch" of a lawyer squirming
TEST ONLY - via Vimeo

Deposition of Westfall - "running in the red" -VIDEO - His supposed "systematic records" - does not notice a $18,121 "hole" - for SIX months!

Westfall amends his suit - now adds sworn affirmation as required for a "sworn account" suit

Motion to Appoint an Auditor
- Judge Banner refuses to apoint an Auditor as he is required to do per Rule 172 - with TWO diametrically opposed AFFIDAVITS.  Supplement to Motion to Appoint an Auditor

Petitition for Writ of Mandamus - to the Tyler 12th Court of Appeals - to make Judge Banner appoint an AUDITOR.

Judge Banner gives fraudulent jury instructions and questions to the jury
- does NOT submit issue of whether an "open account" even existed. Details in my mark-ups

Proposed jury instructions and questions to the jury -
even these were fraudulent. I will develop this more later. But all the evidence is here.

Judge Banner FINAL JUDGMENT - says "FINAL" - "All other parties to this lawsuit having been dismissed previously by summary judgment rulings of the Court", Also: "All other relief not expressly granted in this order is hereby denied."


Judge Banner imposes $62,885 FINE
- and "awards" it to OTHERS - the ones he had LONG AGO DISMISSED. This was months LATER. Also, this was a JURY case - NO JURY HERE!

Judge Banner makes CYA "Findings"
- to conceal his unlawful $62,885 FINE.

Judge Banner real reason for his $62,885 FINE
as caught by court reporter - as PUNISHMENT for me having made a counter-claim - a First Amendment Right - and a "civil RICO" at that.

Judge Chapman imposes ADDITIONAL $125,770 FINE
for me complaining  about the Judge Banner $62,885 FINE - and for "a delusional belief held only inside the mind of Birnbaum", etc. etc. ad nauseam.  




HERE ARE THE "ABSTRACTS OF JUDGMENT" placing LIENS against me - on each of the THREE "judgments" - ALL FRAUD

"Happy April Fools Day"-
my recollections upon the insane April 1 recusal hearing, the $125,770 FINE, the $62,885 FINE, the Westfall fraud, etc.

Abstract of Judgment - upon Judge Paul Banner unlawful $62,885 FINE. Can't do abstract of JUDGMENT - on an ORDER.

Writ of Execution - send a sheriff with a gun

Petition for Declaratory Relief to the Tyler Federal Court    w Exhibits   - for relief from Judge Paul Banner $62,885 unlawful sanction.     136 pages of court "stuff" 

Application for Writ of Scire Facias to Revive Judgment
(This "judgment" - was never a judgment)

Hearing to Revive Order - AUDIO
- real "scrappy" hearing before Judge Paul Banner. Insane "revival" of an ORDER. ORDERS do not go "dormant".   Assignment to pass out PUMPKINS

Hearing before Judge John McCraw - AUDIO - me complaining about Judge Paul Banner - good case law in here.  Well worth listening to - several times over!    PDF

Complaint at the District Attorney - AUDIO -  The investigator threatened too "personally put the handcuffs" on me - if I had "made all this stuff up" - then he disappears.

Inquiry at our JAIL - AUDIO - my "just for fun" inquiry - about the "services" they can supply.

Texas Law Question re judgments: (hanky-panky against me) - my question to justanswer.com on the internet - cost me $60 or so - gave me a very good "teaching". If you look at all the back-and-forth - they had to get a SECOND lawyer! But they "feature" my question, and their ANSWER! (this is a link to their current web URL)

The fraudulent Westfall legal fee suit against me - short narrative

G. David Westfall was claiming an "unpaid open account"
There was NO SUCH ACCOUNT at all.

This suit against me, was by MY OWN lawyer - whom I had retained because of the Beaver Dam matter.

Or rather, by my own lawyer - who had PRESSED HIMSELF upon me - unbeknownst to me at the time.

did have me sign a retainer agreement, or rather a "letter memorandum of understanding" - regarding billing and accounting - re my $20,000 PREPAID retainer.

However, in depositions, when I questioned him, Westfall flatly stated that he had NEVER "promised anyone that they would be billed monthly".

And even after having the document open right in front of him - Westfall would NOT admit that he had indeed promised to "bill me monthly".

This raises TWO issues:

1. If Westfall indeed never routinely promises anyone that they will be billed monthly, WHY would he not only TELL me he would, but indeed put it ON PAPER?

2. And at depositions, confronted with paper, why would Westfall insist, that he had not promised, that he would bill monthly.

Monthly billing is of course normal procedure - on ANY account - if for no other reason that that ERRORS can be timely corrected - and FRAUD by BACKDATING - as Westfall had done - precluded.

Then of course there was no ACCOUNT established by me retaining Westfall, with my non-refundable $20,000 pre-payment, and NEVER a debtor/creditor relationship.

And certainly no OPEN ACCOUNT as he sued me for, i.e. a '"systematic sales and delivery" of "goods or services" - like between a house builder and lumber yard - the lumber yard always bringing "new stuff" - and the house builder always paying off on the "old stuff".

So WHY did Westfall promise ME - on paper - that he would bill me monthly - and also promise - on paper - NOT to charge me any large amounts - "without my approval"?

Very simple. Westfall knew I was not stupid, and that I would NOT sign any agreement, WITHOUT such assurance in there.

Short Tutorial on Due Process and "Suit on Open Account"

1. A suit on "open account" - is something very special. Per the rules of procedure, if I had not denied Westfall's claim - UNDER OATH - Westfall's numbers would have been "deemed" true - and I would no longer be allowed to deny such account.

2. Westall's initial filing of his "open account" suit did NOT include an AFFIRMATION under oath. Westfall attaching such affirmation - would of course have tipped me off - that is why he did not attach such, nor "The Bill" - which he would later produce, as well as an affirmation.

3. Under this "state of affairs" - of TWO diametrically opposed affidavits - Judge Paul Banner was REQUIRED to appoint an AUDITOR - "to make a finding for the Court" - of the "state of the account" - FOR THE COURT.

4. Judge Paul Banner not only REFUSED to appoint such, but even REFUSED to RULE on my motion to appoint such auditor.

5. I therefore filed with the 12th Court of Appeals in Tyler for a Writ of Mandamus - to make Judge Paul Banner appoint such auditor.

6. Judge Paul Banner appointing an auditor, would of course have stopped the Westfall fraud in its tracks - and precluded the Judge Banner fraud of fraudulent instructions and questions to the Jury.

7. And precluded the $85,000 judgement, the $62,885 sanction, and the $125,770 sanction.

8. AMEN - for now. Enough said - for now.

But first - a little bit about me
as an intro - to my later on "opinions" - on our courts - and everything else under the sun
UDO BIRNBAUM - Defendant

Elementary school, Triangel, Germany, view down village main street. Two-hole outhouse accross the street on the left. Athletic field (two wooden goal posts) just behind outhouse. Hand water pump just behind the railing, lower right. Picture taken 1968 - on a side trip while on field service for Texas Instruments to Messerschmitt Aircraft, Munich, Germany. Picture via scan off a 40 year old Kodachrome 36 mm slide. Elementary school, Triangel, Germany. Teacher lived in the school house, taught all 8 grades, in the same room, all at the same time! We had no books, paper, or pencils, wrote on slates which would be wiped clean again - with WATER. Some of the kids would bring in some of the local peat - for heating. The refugee kids would be served some soup - into tin cans. Approximately 20 students. Class half day only, including Saturday. I went here through 4th grade, 1947. The mottled trees are birches, a northern tree. Me, 1947, in Germany, two years after the war. Had just started fifth grade in middle school in Gifhorn, Germay, 4 miles away, then population 5000 or so. Now 40,000 or so, because of Volkswagen headquarter in Wolfsburg, 10 miles or so away.

In summer we would go by bicycle, on foot in winter with all the snow, and not at all when it was impossible outside.

From my coming book
how I came to America as a 13 year old

The long way to Germany  An introduction about how I came to grow up in World War II Germany

The flight home  How I came to America as a 13 year old, speaking hardly any English

Triangel   Our tiny German little village. No cars, radio, telephone, ice box. Just on foot and bicycle. But it kept us safe.

Winter  German winters were long and dark. Norther Germany is at the latitude of Hudson Bay, Canada.

Food  Some of the ways we supplemented the ration cards - rabbits and our garden. My father had dug up everything - to plant vegetables.

The house  I got moved out of my room - to make room for the many refugees coming to Triangel. Before it was over, there were abouty 4 refugee families with us.
The American troops show up   I started learning English from the GI novels. There were no books!  Everybody got kicked out of the house - we became refugees ourselves - in a single room at a neighbor.

CARE packages    Americans could for $10 send food packages to war torn Europe.
Middle School  I hated religion classes in school. We had religion class - once a week - with that teacher coming in by bicycle.
Harz mountains One of my first school trips after the War.  The Russian Zone.

To the American consulate in Hamburg  A frightening nighttime trip by train. Just learned via the marvels of Google - that this was because of  "hamster trips" - all the people from the big cities going into the countryside - to work or beg for food.

a little bit more
"survived Hitler", but done in by a damn BEAVER DAM SUIT - and crooked judges - in AMERICA
UDO BIRNBAUM - Defendant
My farm in Van Zandt County:

Both of my parents, then aged 86 and 80, had helped pay for my house and moved in with me on my farm. We would go visit with my neighbor who was the one who would ultimatelyl sue me over BEAVERS.

We would all sit at the little area near the pier of his catfish pond, which he had built up on his hill, with water being pumped up from his property where beavers were damming up Steve's creek, the little creek coming from his place onto my property.

Mr. Jones was real proud of the baby catfish he was raising, till one day I tried to show him that these were NOT baby catfish - but TADPOLES. To him they were catfish - and I found myself forced to immediately change the subject. Enough said.

But Mr. Jones did help me put in about 400 feet of pvc pipe down to my stock tank, much like he had done down to his beaver dam.

He also gave me the ringneck pheasants he had been keeping up by his house. Talk about WILD and CRAZY birds!

I myself had all kinds of things running around, geese, ducks, pheasants, guineas, quail, bees, catffish, cows, calves, dogs - plus several gardens between my father and me - and the two of us planting trees all over the place.

In the meantime my father had died at the age of 93 and my mother aged 90 had become an invalid - and I had not talked to Jones for several years - till he called, all exited - complaining about BEAVERS.

At that time I was tutoring about 12 neighbor homeschooling kids - grades 6 to 12 - but only in science and math.
My farm in Van Zandt County (cont'd)

We would meet at different homes during the week - and these kids and their parents would be the ones I took out to the alleged BEAVER site - Jones' crazy lawsuit in hand - and reality out there for everyone to see - and these kids would show up in all of my court trial exhibits.

I was also at the time bottle raising about 60 dairy calves.

Incidentally, without my knowing it, one of the parents I had taken out on my "field trip" - confronted Jones about his crazy WATER CODE suit - and Jones told him - that he had NOT told any such to his lawyer - and that his lawyer had told him, that he would "take care of it".

Growing up in Germany:

I grew up as a child in Germany - as a German - 8 years old at the end of World War II, 13 years old when I came to America, hardly speaking any english.

But we missed ALL of the war, never went hungry, lived off RABBITS and our large garden, never saw anybody hurt or bombed.

Never saw a German soldier, anyone in boots or uniform, marching music or popaganda. We had no radio, no telephone, and no news.

Later on we had had about four refugee families come live in our large house - and the little newspaper - we would aternate as to who would ultimately be using it for TOILET PAPER!

The young men were of course all away at war - but who notices that as an 8 year old?
Growing up in Germany (cont'd)

And I did not know, at the time, that I had been born in Houston, Texas - when my parents were over here in the 20's and 30's - finding oil fields!

It was, of course, wise NOT to tell me about America, certainly NOT with Hitler running around!

And the one, who my dad had worked for in Houston, before my dad had gone back to Germany in 1938, who had become a millionaire - when it still meant something to be a millionaire - would be the one to pay the bill for bringing us back to the good old USA, and "sponsor" us - so we would not become a burden to the taxpayers.

School - Houston and Dallas:

At Houston Deady Jr. High, they put me into the eighth grade and into a remedial class.

At Houston Milby Senior High I would be co-valedictorian of a class of about 400.

At Rice Institute (now Rice University) I would graduate magna cum laude with a degree in electrical engineering.

Then on to Dallas and Texas Instrument, field service to Saigon, South Vietnanm, then a career designing several integrated circuits - part of the "hardware" visited upon Saddam Hussean in the First Gulf War.

Then sometime later I bought a farm in south Van Zandt County, with my parents moving in with me.

Then, in my dodage years - BANG - the DAMN BEAVER suit.

But, at least, avoided Hitler.

* * * * Time Out * * * *
time for a short recap
The BEAVER dam lawsuit on me - that is simple to explain - pure barratry.

Pure inciting litigation - KNOWING that his client did NOT have a cause, as indicated by the lawyer NOT filing a lawsuit upon BEAVERS.

"If the law does not fit - simply change the facts"

So WHY did he think he could by with this?

If I would have gotten a lawyer - my lawyer would have also filed some papers - and between them they would have ultimately buried Mr. Ray's fraud.

Mr. Ray certainly had no expectation of me NOT getting a lawyer, paying the JURY FEE, and me LEARNING as quickly as I did, and winding up in an ALL WEEK trial!

And Judge Zimmermann having hearing after hearing after hearing to impose $10,000 in attorney fees against me, despite a unanymous verdict of ZERO damages!

And after I finally retained a lawyer, Judge Zimmermann, Mr. Ray, and my lawyer had seance after seance at the bench -

And my lawer approaching me, telling me that if I were to offer something like $2500, that Mr. Ray might settle for that.

That is where attorney G. David Westfall enters upon the plot.
The G. David Westfall "unpaid open account" lawsuit on me - that is a little harder to explain.

And certainly NOT of the "ordinary barratry" type.

More like PLANNED ROBBERY - using his "participating in the affairs of an enterprise" - the court being the "enterprise", such enterprise "affecting interstate", and his law license as the "means" of "participating in the affairs", etc. and me being "any person" "injured by reason of" the violation of etc.

Such of course being the wording of "conduct" outlawed by the RICO statute.

Such of course was my counter-claim upon Westfall and his Office staff daughter and wife.

Such claim Judge Paul Banner did NOT let me present to the jury.

The $62,885 and $125,770 FINES:

REGARDLESS, of what my claim may have been or not been, these fines are PLUM UNLAWFUL:

1. A court, by civil process (i.e. a civil lawsuit) cannot unconditionally punish - as the judges did upon me. PERIOD. US Supreme Court

2. Can ONLY "sanction" to "coerce" into compliance - like go to jail till you testify, etc

3. A court cannot punish upon the merit of a case, and certainly NOT for being "well-intentioned", as caught by the court reporter. 

This for ready access - more fully elsewhere on this site or on my other website

www.OpenJustice.US  - my original "full data" site

www.CourthouseAwarenessNews.com - same site

Van Zandt Courthouse Beaver Dam Scheme - my short YouTube

"well-intentioned" by Judge Paul Banner - as caught by the court reporter

unlawful $62,885 FINE by Judge Paul Banner - Judge Paul Banner CYA

unlawful $125,770 FINE by Judge Ron Chapman - ravings of a MADMAN

Why I need to get them to arrest me - to shine some "light of day" - upon this CRAP upon me

Synopsis of Evil - the Emperor has no clothess

But they have been publically put on notice - AUDIO - me with my "batshit crazy" posters - crying for HELP - in our COURTROOM


What has Louie Gohmert got to do with all of this?
he was Judge Louis Gohmert at the time

But for Gohmert having thrown a conniption fit in the Dallas Federal Court -
All this bad stuff upon me - would not have been
details as Q/A  incomplete

              As Q/A - and intro to the "players"

What has LOUIE GOHMERT got to do with all of this?

If it had not been for Judge Gohmert, a certain MICHAEL COLLINS would not have gotten a certain G. DAVID WESTFALL as his lawyer -

- and neither would I, UDO BIRNBAUM likewise have gotten such G. David Westfall as my lawyer -

- and be ultimnately fraudulently sued by such G. David Westfall claiming an unpaid open account for legal fees against me -

- and come before JUDGE PAUL BANNER -

- and come before JUDGE RON CHAPMAN -

So what exactly is it that Judge Gohmert did?

Short answer - Judge Gohmert threw a conniption fit upon Mr. Collins, just like Judge Paul Banner and Judge Ron Chapman would later come to do upon me.

What do you mean by conniption fit?

Well, Gohmert went "postal". When Collins included Gohmert as a defendant in his civil RICO suit - Gohmert instead of letting the Attorney General represent him as is standard practice upon a judge being sued - personally went at Collins as a Pro Se.

How did Gohmert personally go at Collins?  INCOMPLETE

Gohmert, Demanding - as a Texas Judge - that Federal Judge JORGE SOLIS "hammer" Collins with with "all the power his court can muster".
Gohmert literally pleading (on paper) with Solis - literally "beseaching" Solis - that Collins is an "imminent threat", etc - "to this very judicial system", etc., etc.

Anything else?

A hissy fit on paper - to state it mildly.  An outright abuse of Gohmert's capacity, abuse of the judicial system, abuse of the Dallas Federal Court, and abuse of the capacity of Judge Solis - who would indeed ultimately severely "hammer" Mr. Collins - just as Gohmert had demanded.

And how did this cause Mr. Collins to retain Westfall?

Can you imagine any Pro Se, such as Mr. Collins was, so suddenly confronted with such onslaught, NOT seeking professional advice and protection?

Any particular reason for Collins to choose Westfall?

That started with the BEHEADED CALVES at my farm, the full-page full-color spread on the front page of the Athens Telegraph, suggestions of SATANIC RITES and DEVIL WORSHIP, else THREATS and INTIMIDATION, etc.

(Month later, a newspaper article in the Canton, Texas paper reported, that after a thorough investigation, that this had been a simple case of someone wanting the heads for a rock garden. Not simple for me - cause it got me WESTFALL)

What have beheaded calves to do with Westfall?

Well, just after the article, Westfall had one of his lady criminal defendants make contact with Collins. Both my name and Collins' name had been in the paper. But neither Collins nor I had ever heard of Westfall, or the woman.

Deposition of Westfall - How Westfall claims he met Collins - VIDEO - Westfall says he first met Collins "with Kathy Young". Kathy Young was of course Westfall's lady criminal defendant client - whom Westfall had of course sent upoon the beheaded calves matter - to have Collins meet with Kathy Young in Henderson County - and Westfall to drive 70 miles all the way from Dallas, to talk to Mr. Collins!  Lawyer lies

Deposition of Westfall - Why Westfall says he never billed Collins - VIDEO - even though Westfall says he did more work for Mr. Collins than for me, Udo Birnbaum, whom he "billed" $38,121.10 .

Deposition of Westfall - Why he "took" Collins in the first place - VIDEO
- or why he did not just quit.  Westfall does not give an answer.

Anything else about Westfall?

As I much later learned, Westfall had been actually convicted of animal cruelty, for the death of about 50 of his cows by outright starving them, and that is why the beheaded calves might have caught his notice.

As I much later came to find out, a Canton man had come accross the article, and passed it on to his sister, who Westfall also had as a criminal defendant.
That is how Westfall learned about the calves,.

So why did Mr. Westfall want to seek out Mr. Collins, rather than you?

Beats me. Still a mystery. His lady client of course having to look up MY name - just to establish contact with Mr. Collins, whose phone was not yet listed. 

Did you or Mr. Collins know Westfall or such Kathy Young, at such time as they contacted you?

Did Gohmert have anything to with you?

No. Only with Collins. Except, as I said, if Gohmert would not have come out so strongly against Collins - neither Collins nor I would have had Westfall, etc.

Who is Michael Collins?

Michael Collins was the pauper, who at the time had parked his little trailer at my farm - at the time of the beheaded Calves.

Did Judge Gohmert have anything to do - with Mr. Collins' stuff?

Yes, Mr. Collins and Judge Gohmert had tangled some time before this.

How did you meet Mr. Collins?

It was at the time of the beaver dam case against me - with "visiting" Judge James B. Zimmermann setting several hearings in my beaver dam case - and some matter that Mr. Collins also had before Zimmermann - always on the same date.

So what?

Well, soon after Dallas lawyer G. David Westfall had shown up -

Who is G. David Westfall?

Westfall is the lawyer who got all these judgments and sanctions upon me.

You said Westfall did more work for Collins than for you - but he never billed hiM?
As I said before, Westfall "took" Collins - to entrap ME

Some of Gohmert / Collins filings:

More detail to follow

Gohmert Motion to Dismiss - mildly "bumptious" already

Gohmert Motion for Sanctions - moderately "bumptious"

Gohmert Supplemental Motion for Sanctions - "gone postal"

$2500 Sanctions by Federal Judge Jorge Solis - equating Collins with "the cornucopia of evil plaguing the judicial system" - and FINING Collins. Hence title of Collins' book.  "Cornucopia of evil".  A cornucopia is of course a [ram's] horn of plenty, generally of food and good stuff.

Just read this stuff. What have these guys been smoking?

Collins Appeal to US 5th COA - Brief - good law in here

Collins Appeal to US 5th COA - Record Excerpts - lots of Gohmert and Solis "stuff" in here, as well as Collins' checks, as Ordered by Judge Solis:

1. $54.30 check to Judge Gohmert, to pay for his paper, pencils, stamps, etc.

2. $189.97 check to the Texas Comptroller of Public Accounts, sent to Gohmert per Judge Solis Order, to be forwarded by Judge Gohmert. (with Judge Gohmert envelope and stamp, one supposes)

3. $2500 receipt to the Clerk of the Dallas Federal Court
NOTE: The lady at the window did not even have a place to put the money in - never heard of such a fine - but took the money anyway.

Fines - to be paid for the benefit of the Court - are of course patently UNLAWFUL.

One of the legal opinions outlawing fines - for thr benefit of the Court - raised the issue of what is the court going to use the money for?

Establish a private army to enforce such assessments?

What made all these lawyers and judges do this?
"Why do fire ants sting? Cause that is what fire ants do!"

Full text - PDF            Permission by author

NOTE:  Michael Collins, a certified pauper, had parked his small trailer on my farm at the time -
- when Dallas lawer G. David Westfall came upon us - because of the BEHEADED CALVES.

Westfall ultimately became my lawyer, promising to "save" me from that damn BEAVER dam case -
and from Judge James B Zimmermann - by suing Zimmermann, etc. - in the Dallas federal court
under "civil RICO" - for damages by a "pattern of racketeering activity".

Westfall also sued Zimmermann - different suit - in behalf of Collins - also under "civil RICO".
In Collins' suit - both Westfall and Collins - got "hammered" with a $2500 FINE,
 by Federal Judge Jorge Solis, Solis equating Collins and Westfall
with the "Cornucopia of evil plaguing the judicial system" - whence the TITLE of Mike's book.

Such "hammering" upon Collins and Westfall -
upon then Texas District Judge Louis B. Gohmert - now US Representative -
  throwing a conneption fit - upon being sued by Westfall and Collins.

Why Attorney Westfall took Collins' suit - despite Westfall knowing Collins was a CERTIFIED PAUPER,
 and despite Judge Gohmert already having put in his Motions for Sanctions against Collins - - - 
There had to be some OTHER MOTIVE - like Westfall setting ME up.

And indeed so Westfall did - entrapping ME - by becoming MY lawer - to be able to pounce upon me
with his fraudulent "unpaid open account" suit.
 (there was no such account, was $20,000 non-refundable PREPAID - "to make time available")

A FINE of $54.30 directly to District Judge Louis B. Ghomert
and $2500 to be paid directly to the District Clerk of the Dallas Federal Court
Judge Paul Banner $62.885 FINE pronouncement:

Judge Paul Banner, at the Sanction Hearing at which he imposed the $62,885, pronounced the following reason - and NO OTHER - for imposing this sanction:

“In assessing the sanctions, the Court has taken into consideration that although Mr. Birnbaum may be well-intentioned and may believe that he had some kind of real claim as far as RICO there was nothing presented to the court in any of the proceedings since I’ve been involved that suggest he had any basis in law or in fact to support his suits against the individuals, and I think – can find that such sanctions as I’ve determined are appropriate”. (Judge Paul Banner, Transcript, Sanction hearing)

Parsing this finding:

 Judge Banner found that I was "well-intentioned"

 And that his sanction was because there being no merit to my claim

 And that there was no merit because my evidence did not indeed show my claim - of a violation of the RICO statute upon me.

Was of course a JURY trial. Why was Banner "weighing the evidence"?

The Law:

 Filing a lawsuit - ANY claim in court - is a First Amendment Right

 A Court, in civil process, cannot punish for the merit of a case.

 A Court, in civil process, can only punish for the CONDUCT of a party.

 Even then, such punishment has to be "coercive", CANNOT be "unconditional", has to provide "keys to own release", i.e. by complying with some Order, i.e. has to be "forward looking" - and not upon "past completed acts".

Unconditional Punishment - as in this case - i.e. upon PAST and COMPLETED - requires full criminal process - including a finding of "beyond a reasonable doubt" - by a JURY.

That simple. US Supreme Court. US Constitution.


What is civil RICO no 1   What is civil RICO no 2  What is civil RICO no 3

? This from my www.O
only one
private attorneys general
has to go to jury
only issues of fact
go to the ultimate issue of violation
federal courts have pleading requirements
whether these indeed plead a violation

What was in Banner's mind?
So What?
What CAN I do?  What SHOULD I do. What MUST I do?
Nov. 18, 2018
I will start a DIARY - sort of

Well - not really. Age 82 is a liitle late to START a diary.

This will be more like "pulling together" some of the stuff I have on this website - in the form of annotated official documents - and the same such as I have on my more mature www.OpenJustice.US.

That site is a one-of-a-kind twenty (20) year collection of court fracas that should NOT have happened.

The question that always keeps haunting me -did this happen BECAUSE of me - or does it ALWAYS go on - maybe at a lower intensity - and "we" don't recognize it - because it generally does not affect us directly and personally.

As for me personally, this has been an experience. How is it possible, to have gone through TWELVE (12) year of high school - with all kinds of civics classes, FIVE (5) years of college, THIRTY (30) years of high-tech at Texas Instrument, NOT to have been taught or become aware of such - until it is too late?

Anyhow, at least for now, in the form of "thoughts" and "reflections" it will be - to be as tutorial, constructive, and open as I can be.

It is clearly a little late for me to run for office - to have an impact. So, this form is it- at least for now.

So What
Why am I going to all this trouble?
WHAT am I DOING about the "Damn Courthouse Criminals"? This from my "more noisy" www.OpenJustice.US site:


This website as a WARNING and TUTORIAL of just how outright EVIL, DEVIOUS, and CRIMINAL a COURT, JUDGES, and LAWYERS can get.

WHY I need to get them to ARREST me   (PDF)

Synopsis of Evil - The Emperor has no Clothes  (PDF)

They have been "noticed" in each other's presence:  (AUDIO)                        

With TWO 17x11 "BATSHIT CRAZY" signs as above, one in each hand over my head, I so presented myself into our courtroom. Here is the AUDIO.


AND SO, in this site's "less noisy mode:

WHY am I DOING what I am doing?

WHY do I need to know, WHY I am doing?

WHY do I need to know, WHY I need to know, WHY I need to know?

Something like the eternal question about what came first, whether the chicken, or the egg.

Or the matter of the turtle holding up the world, that turtle held up by a bigger turtle, etc., etc., with the punch line, "can't you see, it's turtles all the way."

Or why fire ants want to nest in electrical control boxes

OR WHY these "Damn Courthouse Criminals" - did what they did - upon me?

Did they do such on ME only - or have "they" done such before - or are going to do such AGAIN - because such is their NATURE and modus operandi ("MO")

NEXT, Sigmund Freud, with his couch.
Next, Sigmund Freud's actual couch:

Sans his scandalous Biography of Woodrow Wilson

without ever having even met the man

Google on Goldwater Rule for psychiatrists


Both my parents came from teacher families, from small villages, the preacher being the superintendant of the schooling, and constant hick-hack between the teacher and the preacher.

Such must have affected my parents' outlook on religion - although they sent me to catechism school at about the age of twelve. I still remember that preacher coming into our class, in a dark cape, flapping something like Dracula. In middle school we also had a preacher come in, on his bicycle, then again enter with his cape - and become a real terror - till he got back on his bicycle again.

Why do I mention such? Because I did not think much about it at the time - and I now think a lot about - WHY I never thought about it at the time.

We are creatures of our surroundings. Italian kids - wind up speaking Italian, eat spaghetti, and do as Italians do.
Spent a lot of time. Chess, Walks, watch Huston Smith the religions of man.

                  NOTES TO THE BELOW:

These are just some of the judges, parties, agencies, lawyers, district attorneys, courts, courts of appeals, sheriffs, Texas Rangers, US Justice Department, FBI, Commissions, investigators, legislators, etc that I have been either BEFORE or complained TO.

As I have stated before - I have literall tried EVERYTHING - to get relief - to always be thwarted with a "mere" piece of paper.

That is WHY I NEED TO GET "THEM" TO ARREST ME - to forcefully bring the LIGHT OF DAY upon this outrage upon the rule of law.

Will get "a round tuit" to summarize some of this at a more or less "executive summary" level.

Lots and lots of detail - at my original earlier www.OpenJustice.US.
First - a few odds and ends

Baseline Study - ME, Udo Birnbaum

Next - Legal Fee Suit Judge Paul Banner (trial judge)

Next - Legal Fee Suit Plaintiff G. David Westfall

Next - Legal Fee Suit Lawyer Frank C. Fleming

Next - Beaver Dam Plaintiff William B. Jones

Next - Beaver Dam Lawyer Richard L. Ray

Next - Beaver Dam Suit Judge James B. Zimmermann (trial judge)

Next - Beaver Dam Suit Judge Tommy C. Wallace (first judge)

Judge Andrew Kupper
Judge Don Jarvis
Judge Don Metcalfe
Judge Pat McDowell
Judge John Ovard
Judge John McCraw
Judge Joe Leonard
Judge Richard Mays
Judge Randall McDonald
Judge Joe Clayton (no-show)
Judge Ron Chapman
Judge Jerry Buchmeyer
Magistrate Paul Stickney
Judge Richard Davis
District Attorney Leslie Dixon
investigator Rick Sullivan
District Attorney Chris Martin
DA Investigator Allen Kincaid
DA Investigator Justin Collins
Judge Teresa Drum
Judge Mary Murphy
Sheriff M.L. Ray
Texas Ranger Michael Adcock
Tyler FBI Office
Tyler Justice Department
First - a few odds and ends
Texas Natural Resource Commission
Commission on Judicial Conduct
Texas Bar
attorney Joel C. Elliott
attorney Richard L. Ray
attorney Victoria Thatcher Ray
sheriff Dale Corbett
attorney Bernstein - or such
attorney Martin Bennett
attorney G. David Westfall
attorney Frank C. Fleming
attorney Jason Cassell - was pro tem
attorney for Texas AG
Dallas Federal Court
Fifth Court of Appeals
Tyler Appeals Court
Tyler Federal Court
Dallas Appeals Court
Texas Supreme Court
US Supreme Court - TWICE
294th District Court
Dallas Appeals Court